i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Apple has a Lot to Explain to iPhone X Customers
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
People Asked The Internet Questions About their Private Parts And The Results Are Hilarious
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??