I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
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ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
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Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog