Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
