Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
