My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
