Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
