i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
