So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
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