How'd it feel making her break her religion?
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
