my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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