Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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