i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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