I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
