what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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