can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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