Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
My cat gives me a boner
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
