I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Just pee around me
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
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