The maid of honor just puked.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.