yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
27 People Confess The Worst Jobs They’ve Ever Had
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
25 People Confess Their Terrifying Stalker Stories
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.