my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize