You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Put some vodka in it
put some vodka in it
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.