Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(828): View more from North Carolina

I am a bulletproof tiger!

(615): View more from Tennessee

Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.

(828): View more from North Carolina

I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?

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(847): View more from Illinois

i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song

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(203): View more from Connecticut

I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.

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(205): View more from Alabama

Why does Corona taste like a burp?

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(504): View more from Louisiana

All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.

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(785): View more from Kansas

My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.

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(573): View more from Missouri

Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.

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(607): View more from New York

I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that

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