no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night