Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
