i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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