Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
