theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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