So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
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HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
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Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize