there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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