vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
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