hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
