I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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