Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
