no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
She needs sedatives and a leash
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
