I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
