i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
