A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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