your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
