I only kidnapped one of them. chill
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
