I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Randomize
