i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
