when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
