she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Randomize
