btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
