No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
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I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
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