Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Randomize
