Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize
