Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
God, I missed his penis.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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