And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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