You're my little dorito
Please, let me fuck your mom
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
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