Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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