Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
