Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
