when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
