The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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