Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
