hotel room ftw
Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize