sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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