we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
