he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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