I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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