Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
