Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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