i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
