Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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