; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
