I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize
