oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
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