There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
