Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Randomize
