Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
