He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Randomize
