Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize